Tom Allen

I read a story of a pastor (fictitious, I believe) that went to the train station every afternoon, watched the train leave the station, and went on his way.  Finally, someone asked him, "Pastor, why do you come here every day, watch the train leave the station and go on your way?".  The pastor answered, "I just want to watch something that's moving that I'm not having to push". That may seem ridiculous to you, but not to me.  Sometimes, as a pastor, I feel like nothing would move if I wasn't pushing it.  Doesn't matter if that's true or not, if that's the way I feel, then that's the way I feel.  It's a pastor thing.  And, these are Confessions of a Pastor. In reality, I battle that.  I realize it's a strategy of the Enemy.  He tells me that everyone is standing on the sidelines cheering for me and telling me they're praying for me and that I'm doing a great job and keep up the good work...but, no one is helping push.  ...

Q : As a man, it is very difficult to understand and ONLY listen to my wife.  How does a man get better at not trying to fix her problems and just listening? A : This is a great question and really illustrates one of the biggest differences between men and women.  Men are by nature fixers.  We like to fix things, build things, find solutions.  We find satisfaction in problem-solving.  We also have word quotas that are much lower than our female counterparts.      To tell a man to be quiet, listen and DON'T  solve the problem is like telling a bird not to fly or a dog not to chase a rabbit.  It just cuts totally against everything that comes naturally.      Women, on the other hand, don't run on factual fuel as much as emotional fuel.  They feel loved, not by their spouse ignoring the facts and solutions, but first and foremost by their spouse validating their feelings and emotions.      H...

Q :   Can God fix a marriage where one spouse is physically abusive?  What does the Bible say? A :   First of all let me begin by saying this is definitely more than one question.  Let me address them separately. Can God fix a marriage where one spouse is physically abusive?   Absolutely.  God can do anything.  Easy.  No-brainer. What does the Bible have to say?   It has a lot to say.  Which subject were you concerned with particularly?  If you just need to know what the Bible says about God's ability to heal a marriage...or anything else for that matter...it says He's able. If you're wanting to know if God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage, the answer is absolutely NOT!  God never DEMANDS or EXPECTS or even DESIRES that anyone would divorce.  But, He also makes allowances for it in certain circumstances.  I believe those circumstances include (but, are not limited to): Adultery Abandonment Addicti...