IWANM...Pride

Q:  How do you build your spouse's pride in their work if you are in a very difficult financial situation and he/she is not making enough money?

A:  That's a great question, and one that has a variety of answers.  I suppose to answer your question, I'd have to ask you a few questions  myself.  

     1.  Is he/she the primary or secondary source of income?  For instance, until recently, my wife was 

          a Project Manager for Dell Computers.  She was very good at what she did and very well paid.

          However, her job was high-pressure and very stressful.  She quit and went from a very 

          substantial salary to nothing...as in $0.00.  She's beginning a career in Real Estate, but that 

          takes time and doesn't pay bills yet.  It's caused some changes in our lifestyle.  However, its 

          been easy for me to tell her how great she's doing, how great she's GOING  to be and to 

          encourage her to hang in there, I'm rooting for her.  As the main bread-winner, I'd do 

          whatever it takes to provide for my family.  I've actually worked 2 or 3 jobs at one time

          to provide.  It's my job and my delight.

    2.  Is the problem one of lack of drive or laziness?  If so, you can encourage them in what they 

         ARE doing while at the same time, building up their confidence to do more.

    3.  What are YOU doing?  Are you helping out financially?  If not, why not?  It's difficult to 

         condemn your spouse for not being a good provider if you're not being a good helper.  In

         today's world it often takes two (or more) incomes to make things work.  Even if you can't 

         contribute financially, you can cut costs at home and save money for your family.  Everyone

         can and should help.