IWANM
Yesterday, we culminated our series, I WANT A NEW MARRIAGE with a Q & A with my wife Susan and myself. You texted in 100's of questions, so we couldn't get to every one. Over the next few weeks, I'll try to answer as many as possible. So, here we go...
"How can you get romantic time when your spouse insists that not ONE, but TWO kids under age 5 sleep in your bed?"
That's a great question. This is a practice referred to as Co-Sleeping, where the child or children are invited into the bed with the parents. The ideas behind the practice are to further promote bonding between parents and children, boost emotional health and build self-esteem and independence later in life.
In answer to your question as to how to promote romance in your marriage while practicing co-sleeping, I have no answer for you. My belief would be that the practice of co-sleeping, although not biblically forbidden, is in direct contradiction to at least two biblical concepts.
1. It makes the parent-child relationship superior to that of the husband-wife relationship. I believe that cuts directly against the biblical priority structure.
2. The Bible tells us to love our children, but our main over-arching goal is to raise independent, God-honoring adults. Anything that precludes that is in direct contradiction to the scripture. As we look at these little bundles of joy it's difficult, at best, to be reminded of our responsibility toward them. ANYTHING that inhibits our raising them to be independent, God-honoring adults is counterintuitive and should be avoided at all costs.
I believe common sense should rule here. If our marital relationship is to be the primary relationship, then co-sleeping is simply a bad idea.
Beyond the simple idea that it's not best for a marriage and places the child's needs (or in more cases than we want to admit, the parent's needs) above that which is best for the marriage, the American Pediatric Association warns against the dangers of any such practice.
Personally, I believe co-sleeping puts a child at risk of being smothered in more than one way. It's a bad idea.
"How can you get romantic time when your spouse insists that not ONE, but TWO kids under age 5 sleep in your bed?"
That's a great question. This is a practice referred to as Co-Sleeping, where the child or children are invited into the bed with the parents. The ideas behind the practice are to further promote bonding between parents and children, boost emotional health and build self-esteem and independence later in life.
In answer to your question as to how to promote romance in your marriage while practicing co-sleeping, I have no answer for you. My belief would be that the practice of co-sleeping, although not biblically forbidden, is in direct contradiction to at least two biblical concepts.
1. It makes the parent-child relationship superior to that of the husband-wife relationship. I believe that cuts directly against the biblical priority structure.
2. The Bible tells us to love our children, but our main over-arching goal is to raise independent, God-honoring adults. Anything that precludes that is in direct contradiction to the scripture. As we look at these little bundles of joy it's difficult, at best, to be reminded of our responsibility toward them. ANYTHING that inhibits our raising them to be independent, God-honoring adults is counterintuitive and should be avoided at all costs.
I believe common sense should rule here. If our marital relationship is to be the primary relationship, then co-sleeping is simply a bad idea.
Beyond the simple idea that it's not best for a marriage and places the child's needs (or in more cases than we want to admit, the parent's needs) above that which is best for the marriage, the American Pediatric Association warns against the dangers of any such practice.
Personally, I believe co-sleeping puts a child at risk of being smothered in more than one way. It's a bad idea.
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