WHAT TO DO WHILE YOUR HOUSE IS BURNING

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1.  If the fire is on the first floor and wienies or marsh mellows are available, you may consider roasting
     (however, if the fire is on the second story, roasting is contraindicated)

2.  You can play "Pass the Hat", saying something like, "Come on people, we really need to help these
      poor, unfortunate folks".

3.  You can start singing, "Saw varsity's horns off" while swaying back and forth.

4.  You can slip into the cab of the fire truck, engage the loud speaker system and yell, "OK, we've got
     the place surrounded.  Come out with your hands up!"

5.  (Suggested) You can stand in the street and thank God that you own your stuff, rather than your
     stuff owning you.

(Hint) #5 changes everything.

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