THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY....
THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY 6/28/2016
Tomorrow's a big day for me. After years of doctor visits and tests of every size, shape, type and ilk, it has been determined that my neck is a mess. That's the Bad News. The Good News is they found it before I lost all use of my limbs. That's the road I was on. Left untreated would lead to quadriplegia. That's one of those words that when it comes out of your doctor's mouth, you don't hear much else of what he has to say after that. You are emotionally caught, like a fish on a hook, stuck with your stomach somewhere in your throat. You're never prepared for that one.
Anyway, tomorrow it will be addressed. I'm having, as my doctor is so quick to point out, "spinal cord surgery". No, not neck surgery. It may look like neck surgery. That's the region where they'll be operating. But, the reality is that it's all about the spinal cord.
I've known for a few weeks this is what's going to happen. Had to wait on a few more tests, insurance companies to get their act together and decide if I deserved such attention, and the hospital and surgeon to find a time when both were available. Lot's of moving parts. So, I've learned a few things during the last few weeks. What? I thought you'd never ask. Here's the big one.
The mind is the devil's playground.
I truly believe I have a great diagnosis and a great surgeon. I believe that he will do everything to benefit me. I believe that I will come through this procedure with great success. BUT...the enemy has used every possible opportunity to inflict any thought contrary to that into my mind. Whether it's the dream of waking up with no use of my limbs or the "worst possible scenario" talk that the doctor has to give you...because he just has to, or the person that tells you they saw this movie with a paralyzed guy and "thought of you"...the enemy is cunning and the battleground he has chosen to do his best work is right between your ears. If he cannot paralyze you physically, he will paralyze you with fear. Same result.
If ever I have come to understand Paul's admonition to "take every thought captive", I do now. More than once I have found myself telling myself right out loud in from of God and everyone, "STOP IT! THAT'S ENOUGH! SCREW YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT!" Paul said it better..."take every thought captive". That means telling some of them they don't have any place in your mind. Kick them to the curb.
I think we have the habit of looking for the bad guys "out there" somewhere. I have news for you. He's not "out there". He's right in here. That's why you miss him. That's why he's so deadly. That how he "steals, kills and destroys". While we're guarding the door, he's already in our head. In fact, here's a real kicker...he even makes us think his trash is our trash. Oh yeah. He convinces us that those thoughts are our thoughts, not his. Then, he plants his seeds of doubt. "Do I not have enough faith? Is God trying to tell me something? What was that supposed to mean? What made them say that?". Don't play dumb on me now. You know you've been there. You know you've accepted a few of his deliveries and treated them like they were your own. You've felt guilty or depressed or scared or anxious...all over something that didn't even come from you...but, he's convinced you it did.
Again, Paul says, "We battle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers of darkness". What's he saying? The same thing he said before. The battle's not "out there", it's right "in here".
Sometimes we need to pray, "Jesus, let me know the truth, believe the truth and stand on the truth, because the truth will set me free". But, sometimes, we don't need to pray. We just need to exercise the power that God has already given us through Christ Jesus (because "greater is he who is in us than he who is in the world") and simply in the power of the name of Jesus, tell the devil, in no uncertain terms, "Get the hell out of my mind! That's right, go on and get out of here....because I told you so. Now, SCRAM!".
If you can win the battle in your mind, the war will take care of itself. I've read the end. We win.
Tomorrow's a big day for me. After years of doctor visits and tests of every size, shape, type and ilk, it has been determined that my neck is a mess. That's the Bad News. The Good News is they found it before I lost all use of my limbs. That's the road I was on. Left untreated would lead to quadriplegia. That's one of those words that when it comes out of your doctor's mouth, you don't hear much else of what he has to say after that. You are emotionally caught, like a fish on a hook, stuck with your stomach somewhere in your throat. You're never prepared for that one.
Anyway, tomorrow it will be addressed. I'm having, as my doctor is so quick to point out, "spinal cord surgery". No, not neck surgery. It may look like neck surgery. That's the region where they'll be operating. But, the reality is that it's all about the spinal cord.
I've known for a few weeks this is what's going to happen. Had to wait on a few more tests, insurance companies to get their act together and decide if I deserved such attention, and the hospital and surgeon to find a time when both were available. Lot's of moving parts. So, I've learned a few things during the last few weeks. What? I thought you'd never ask. Here's the big one.
The mind is the devil's playground.
I truly believe I have a great diagnosis and a great surgeon. I believe that he will do everything to benefit me. I believe that I will come through this procedure with great success. BUT...the enemy has used every possible opportunity to inflict any thought contrary to that into my mind. Whether it's the dream of waking up with no use of my limbs or the "worst possible scenario" talk that the doctor has to give you...because he just has to, or the person that tells you they saw this movie with a paralyzed guy and "thought of you"...the enemy is cunning and the battleground he has chosen to do his best work is right between your ears. If he cannot paralyze you physically, he will paralyze you with fear. Same result.
If ever I have come to understand Paul's admonition to "take every thought captive", I do now. More than once I have found myself telling myself right out loud in from of God and everyone, "STOP IT! THAT'S ENOUGH! SCREW YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT!" Paul said it better..."take every thought captive". That means telling some of them they don't have any place in your mind. Kick them to the curb.
I think we have the habit of looking for the bad guys "out there" somewhere. I have news for you. He's not "out there". He's right in here. That's why you miss him. That's why he's so deadly. That how he "steals, kills and destroys". While we're guarding the door, he's already in our head. In fact, here's a real kicker...he even makes us think his trash is our trash. Oh yeah. He convinces us that those thoughts are our thoughts, not his. Then, he plants his seeds of doubt. "Do I not have enough faith? Is God trying to tell me something? What was that supposed to mean? What made them say that?". Don't play dumb on me now. You know you've been there. You know you've accepted a few of his deliveries and treated them like they were your own. You've felt guilty or depressed or scared or anxious...all over something that didn't even come from you...but, he's convinced you it did.
Again, Paul says, "We battle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers of darkness". What's he saying? The same thing he said before. The battle's not "out there", it's right "in here".
Sometimes we need to pray, "Jesus, let me know the truth, believe the truth and stand on the truth, because the truth will set me free". But, sometimes, we don't need to pray. We just need to exercise the power that God has already given us through Christ Jesus (because "greater is he who is in us than he who is in the world") and simply in the power of the name of Jesus, tell the devil, in no uncertain terms, "Get the hell out of my mind! That's right, go on and get out of here....because I told you so. Now, SCRAM!".
If you can win the battle in your mind, the war will take care of itself. I've read the end. We win.
Praying for your complete healing and speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteHow humbling to know that God has literally fought death for us, but goodness knows the enemy plays dirty. Thanks for being an incredible example of what it's like to be in the trenches and not give up. Praying for peace through the recovery.
ReplyDeleteHow humbling to know that God has literally fought death for us, but goodness knows the enemy plays dirty. Thanks for being an incredible example of what it's like to be in the trenches and not give up. Praying for peace through the recovery.
ReplyDelete